oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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