I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
