Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
