At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Randomize
