I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
You need a sexual gate keeper
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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