i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
