I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize