kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
