You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
