we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
