I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Randomize
