I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Randomize