Joe is yelling at the trees again.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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