what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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