Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
