Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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