Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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