Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
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