Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
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