i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
