They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
