Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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