Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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