my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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