Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Randomize
