Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
