why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
