Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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