Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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