I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
