If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
