ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
