Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
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