Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
