I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I just gift wrapped bread.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
