it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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