Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
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