:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize