I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
