just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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