My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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