No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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