happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize