oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize