The brown eye won't let me do that either.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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