I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize