Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Randomize
