Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
