I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
