I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
