Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
you told grandpa to call you daddy
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
