I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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