I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Randomize
