so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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