Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Randomize
