So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
