Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
