Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
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