doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
