He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Randomize
