oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
