We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Randomize
